Was it worth it?
by salmoncarppacio007
Summary: Tali's having nightmares about Legion and the Geth, and feels guilty about wiping them from existence, will Shepard get her through this? or will she drown herself in the sorrows of this intergalactic war?
1. Chapter 1: Orientation

**Was it Worth it?**

Tali'Zorah awoke in the middle of the cold, dark, star studded space. She was confused, she began to notice her surroundings. On her right she saw something familiar, the Quarian Fleet, and on her left she saw the Geth fleet.

The two fleets engaged in a brutal fire fight, where each fleet opened fire to each other. Where neither of them seem to be winning.

Then, the scenery changed, now she is in Rannoch, her Homeworld. She was on a cliff, she saw someone else there, a man, a Geth, and herself.

The Geth and herself were arguing. To which the man seem to have to choose one or the other. Then, the man spoke of his decision that angered the Geth. The man sunk his head down in shame as he apologizes to the Geth, however the Geth did not take the man's decision lightly. The Geth picked up the man and began strangling him, as the man was gasping for his breath, she saw herself stab the Geth in the back, the Geth released the man and fell onto his knees. The man pulled out his gun and aimed at the Geth, he had the shot be he didn't shoot, he just stood there giving the Geth a pity look. The Geth turned his attention to Tali, to deliver his final words.

"Creator...does..this..unit..have.." it said at Tali in his final hours.

"Yes..yes it does." Tali said putting her hand upon the Geth.

Tali woke up with her body sweating and heart racing, She was panting and gasping for breath. It was only a dream, she found herself in Shepard's cabin, unmasked and undressed.

She looked beside her and noticed Shepard holding her hand and looking at her in deep concern.

"Bad dream?" Shepard asked.

"yeah." She said after a brief pause.

"you okay?" Shepard asked.

"No...no i am not." Tali said wiping a few tears away from her eyes.

"is this about Legion?" Shepard asked.

Tali froze at the sound of that name. It has only been a week since Tali killed Legion along with the entire Geth race. Legion, a figure that has changed her perspective on the Geth, but more than that, an ally, a friend, was killed in the name of the Quarian people. Was it the right thing to do? Was it worth it? Doomed an entire race so that another may prosper?

"Shepard...it...it's killing me Shepard, did i...do the right thing?"

"i know it's hard, but what's done is done, you can't change that."

"I thought i was better than this, i thought that my people and the Geth could live in harmony for once, i guess I'm no better than the reapers."

"Don't say that, you are nothing like the reapers."

"but it's true, i killed a million of them to save a million of us! I'm responsible!" said Tali as she began to cry.

"hey..hey, come here." Shepard says as he tries to comfort the whimpering Quarian.

"look at me..i know it feels horrible, but this is war Tali, we can't avoid these sacrifices, even if it does hurt."

"i know but...but i-"

"if the Geth live, do you think it would've been any better for your people."

"um...well..i don't-"

"everything worked out for the best Tali, we can't change the past."

Tali felt better but it was not enough to get rid of the pain, Shepard moved in closer for a kiss, but was politely rejected by Tali's hand that held his chest.

"no...no, I'm sorry Shepard, i need to be alone, i need to..think about this." Tali said as she quickly got out of the bed and put her Enviro-suit and her mask back on and left the cabin, leaving Shepard alone and confused.

_**The next morning..**_

Tali decided to see Dr. Chakwas for advice and made her way to the Med Bay. Along the way she sees everybody going through their usual routine. Despite of the situation they're all in, the war against the reapers. The Normandy is different than other ships Tali has served on, in times of war the aura of despair lingers through the corridors of the Quarian fleet, but in here it's different, there is no despair, only hope, and it's all because of Shepard.

She was greeted by everyone along the way. James even offered some burritos which Tali politely turned down. Then, she made it to the Med Bay, she opened the door and was immediately greeted by the doctor.

"Oh hello dear, are you here to check for signs of infection? I heard you spent the night in the Commander's quarters." She said winking at Tali.

"No, not this time, I'm here to talk about something...personal and I'd like to discuss it with you." Tali said nervously.

"Oh, of course darling, what is it?"

"I've been having these nightmares, about the Geth and...and Legion."

"what kind?"

"it's always the same doc, i keep reliving the moments, you know in.. Rannoch."

"ah, i see, the eh.. incident last week?"

"yes."

"well, i actually gotten to know Legion very well before the Commander was relieved of duty, he used to stay in the room over there remember?" Dr. Chakwas said pointing at the AI Core room.

"oh yeah, i forgot." Tali said

"it was the nicest Geth i ever met, well actually the only Geth i have ever met, it always asks me about whether or not synthetics and organics can live with each other, and it changed my perspective on the Geth, and it seems the Geth only want free will, independence, and unity with organics."

"shame they had to die trying to earn it."

"well dear, it's clear to anyone that your nightmares are caused by your guilt, you feel responsible for killing the Geth."

"But, I've killed others before, why is it different this time?" Tali asked in confusion.

"maybe you didn't think they deserve death, you did what you had to do, but it wasn't what you wanted to do." Dr. Chakwas explained.

Tali fell silent and thought about what she said.

"maybe you should give Legion a proper burial, that should provide you with some closure." Dr. Chakwas added.

"closure?" Tali asked.

"yes, think about it...and i suppose 'he' deserves it, don't you think?" Dr. Chakwas said smiling at Tali.

Tali never heard anyone call a Geth 'he', but even she knows that synthetics are no less than organics. Tali nodded and thanked the Doctor for the advice.


	2. Chapter 2: Resolution

**Was it Worth it?**

Inside the luxurious Commander's cabin, Shepard was scrolling down a ton of E-mail that was piling up in his private terminal, which he never bothered to open up until now. most of them fan-mail, interview requests, or other junk that was not really his concern right now. but some of them were regards from old friends, Eve frequently sends him progress reports from Tuchanka, Jacob informing him about his progress with Dr. Brynn Cole, Jack telling Shepard that her kids are kicking ass, and Javik frequently asking him how to use the toilet.

But, what's really bothering the Commander is the way Tali's been acting lately. She's been keeping her distance from Shepard, she spends lots of time alone, she never came over anymore, she didn't even bother to say hello when they cross paths.

He knows all too well that her problems are caused by Legion and the Geth, which she mentioned 2 days ago. Shepard has been through a lot of sacrifices, this war has taken the lives of many of Shepard's comrades and numerous others, Legion included. But he also knows that these sacrifices are inevitable, and he can't change the past, but still, the pain of loss won't go away easily.

But, Tali's been taking Legion's death pretty hard, given the history of the Geth and the Quarians, which Shepard experienced himself during his trip through the Geth consensus, he wouldn't blame her. The Quarians built the Geth, enslaved them, then killed them, which failed and they were driven away from their own Homeworld. The Geth acted in self defense, as would any other race, and yet in the end the ones that die are the Geth. How ironic, Shepard thought.

_**Meanwhile..**_

"EDI, can we talk?" Tali asked as she walked inside the cockpit.

EDI and Joker looked behind.

"what do you wish to discuss Tali'Zorah?" EDI asked.

"...In private." Tali said nudging her head at Joker.

EDI looked at Joker, as did Tali. Joker turned his chair around to face the two girls.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"Nothing sweetie." EDI said softly as she led Tali to the corridor behind the cockpit.

"So, i guess your relationship with Joker is going well." Tali said as she and EDI are alone.

"i would say Jeff has made some improvements over the course of our relationship, so i would say yes." EDI said.

"I'm glad." Tali said.

"i assume you are doing well with the Commander?" EDI asked.

"well, Shepard been very nice to me, he's understanding, funny, loving.." Tali went on.

"so, you are doing well." EDI said smiling happily.

"but, that's not what i wanted to talk about." Tali said.

"so what do you wish to discuss?" EDI said with her hands crossed behind her back.

"well, it's about the Geth." Tali said nervously.

"i...see." EDI said.

"well EDI, i feel terrible for what happened at Rannoch." Tali said.

"well, as i was informed you were not the one that destroyed the Geth fleet, as so, you are not responsible." EDI said.

"i know EDI, but i just...feel terrible for them, and i thought you would help me." Tali said.

"because i am a...Synthetic?" EDI asked.

"you know i don't see you that way EDI, you're different, you're human, you have feelings, you're my friend." Tali said.

"as is Legion, and the Geth...don't they have feelings? Don't they have...a soul?" EDI said.

Tali just fell silent and thought about EDI's words, then EDI put her hand upon Tali's shoulder.

"If you feel that way about me, Legion and the Geth shouldn't be any different. I believe that is your resolution." EDI said.

Tali smiled and gave EDI a big hug.

"thanks EDI." Tali said.

"I'll always be here to provide assistance." EDI said plainly.

"not that,...for being my friend." Tali said happily.

EDI hesitated, but then returned the hug.

"Likewise." EDI said smiling.

EDI returned to the cockpit with Joker as Tali left and headed for the elevator.

_**Later..**_

Shepard was seen sitting in his bed and tapping away on his Datapad, when suddenly his door opened.

"Tali? You scared me." Shepard said.

"sorry, i should've asked first." Tali said.

"no, it's okay." Shepard said as he walked towards the door to Tali.

"What do you need?" Shepard asked as he held both of Tali's hands.

"I need to go to Rannoch." Tali said to a confused Shepard.


	3. Chapter 3: Conclusion

**Was it Worth it?**

**Author's notes: hello readers, this is my final chapter, thanks for everyone that reviewed.  
please tell me what you think about this chapter, thanks!  
**

"ETA to Rannoch in 10 minutes, get ready for some fan love down there fellas, the Quarians has been really looking forward to see us... well mostly Shepard" Joker said as his voice rang through the corridors of the Normandy.

All the crew were getting ready for a little shore leave on Rannoch, especially Garrus who's been bragging with James that he's 'gonna score some Quarian babes'. Joker's been planning to take EDI to the beach to teach her how to enjoy the scenery. Almost everyone was looking forward to be greeted by the friendly locals of Rannoch. But that's not why Tali'Zorah wanted to go there.

Tali sat on the floor with her hands across her feet, inside the Lounge staring at the infinite reaches of space with awe as the ship reached light speed. She remembered that this was the only view available to her when she lived in the Flotilla, she remembered when she was little, she always stared at the sky and imagined what the homeworld looks like. Sometimes also imagining the evil and brutality of the Geth, that drove her people away, only to know that this was the Quarians fault.

Her daydreams were interrupted as she heard the sound of the door behind her opened.

"Shepard?" She asked with her face still facing the window.

"Negative, it's me." EDI said as she walked inside the room.

"oh, hey EDI." Tali said as she turned around.

"May i ask your purpose of sitting here." EDI asked

Tali processed EDI's question and turned around to face the window again.

"just admiring the view." Tali said plainly

"Joker also wanted to teach me how to do that." EDI said.

"I don't fully understand how to enjoy the scenery, but if i may, this isn't much of a scenery." EDI said as she joined Tali on the floor.

Tali let out a sigh and continued to stare at the stars.

"yeah, it's more of a reminder." Tali replied.

"Reminder of what?" EDI asked curiously.

"the mistakes of my people." Tali said.

"is that why you wish to travel to Rannoch?" EDI asked

"no, the mistakes of my people cannot be undone, but if the Geth allows it... we can be forgiven." Tali said with a smile.

"you wish for forgiveness?" EDI asked with a curious look on her shiny alloy face.

"yes, i...i want to go to the place where Legion died and give him a proper funeral." Tali said confidently.

"hmm...then i wish you good luck Tali'Zorah." EDI said as she gave Tali a bone crunching hug.

"ow! Try not to hug joker anytime soon." Tali joked.

"i will adjust the pressure and try to make it more suitable for Joker." EDI said as she walked out of the room.

"there's hope EDI." Tali said as EDI stopped at the door.

"pardon?" EDI asked.

"Synthetics and Organics can live in peace." Tali said with a happy smile.

EDI fell silent for a moment, then she smiled and nodded.

"Acknowledged." EDI said.

_**Later..**_

The Normandy landed in one of the big landing pads on Rannoch near the old Reaper that Shepard killed last week.

The crew rushed out of the ship to be greeted by friendly Quarians, Garrus and James already made their move with two Quarian girls, Joker and EDI held hands as they walked towards the nearby beach, as for the rest of the crew, they went inside a local Quarian mall.

Tali was greeted the most as she was a Quarian, and Shepard was nowhere to be found. Tali went to one of the Local stores to purchase a Quarian rose. She was amazed by the Quarians construction, they managed to construct an entire shopping center in less than one week. She saw many Quarian children running around happily, something she never experienced during her childhood, it is clear the Quarians are going to have a bright future, little did they know it was all thanks to Legion and the Geth.

She eventually left the shopping center and headed to the cliff, the place where it all happened.

The cliff was not too far from the shopping center, maybe the government wants to make a monument out of the dead reaper, Tali thought.

Every step seems heavy as she approached the cliff, the closer she gets to the edge, more images from the past flashed inside her mind, then it became clear, it was like her dream, where she saw Legion's death. Ghosts of the pasts in front of her, she stopped in her tracks as she sees the scene where she stabbed Legion, Legion fell on his knees and the shadows fade.

"Hey Tali." A voice behind her said.

Tali turned around and saw Shepard behind her.

"oh..hey Shepard." Tali said plainly.

"where did you find out?" Tali asked.

"EDI told me everything." Shepard said.

"so, i guess you're here to tell me that i should leave the past in the past or something like that." Tali said.

"you could say that." Shepard said.

"well Shepard, if you haven't noticed, I'm not made of steel like you, i can't leave the past, and I'm not perfect!...I'm not...I'm not like you." Tali said seemingly crying.

Shepard approached Tali and helped her up, he held her tight and said to her..

"and that's why i love you."

"And I'm not perfect either...Tali, there's not a moment in my life that I've lived without thinking about those i failed to save, Mordin, Thane, and even Legion, they haunt me everyday, every night, their voices echo in my dreams as a reminder of my failure as a soldier..."

He lifted Tali's face so that their eyes meet.

"...and the only thing that kept me going is you, and i know that whatever the galaxy throws at me, you'll always be by my side, you're the reason i fight, and I'll do everything in my power to protect you, and that's why i kept going even after all I've lost...you're the reason I'm still alive, and i want you to know that."

Tali fell silent, she didn't know that Shepard cared that much about her, she was about to cry, she hugged Shepard tightly.

"th...thank you Shepard...you don't know how much that meant to me." Tali said in tears.

"Shh.. it's okay..it's okay." Shepard said as he comforted her.

"i wanted to join you actually...you know pray for Legion." Shepard said.

"Really? You want to?" Tali asked.

"Yes." Shepard said.

With that Tali and Shepard went to the place where Legion's body was left, and they dropped on their knees and clamped their hands in a prayer.

"Legion, by the homeworld i see today, i thank you for the gift you have given us, the happiness you bestowed upon us and the hope you spread across the land, may your sacrifice lead to the salvation, and future of many others." Tali said.

"Legion, by the homeworld i see today, i beg for your forgiveness, we apologize for our selfishness, we apologize for the pain we brought you, and we apologize for the lives we have taken from you, may you find peace in the afterlife." Shepard said.

Immediately, a bright beam of light appeared before them, Shepard and Tali closed they're eyes because of the brightness, they opened their eyes slightly to see what's in front of them.

A blurry holographic figure appeared, in a few seconds the figure appeared clearer and clearer, who the figure was shocked both Tali and Shepard. It was Legion!

Legion looked down upon them with his bright flashlight eye.

"Legion?" Tali and Shepard asked.

Legion said nothing, he continued to stare down upon them.

"I'm...sorry Legion." Tali said.

"I'm so sorry..." Tali added as she sunk her head down in shame.

Legion looked as if he had what he came for, he crossed his arms behind his back.

"Acknowledged." Legion said nodding his head.

And with that, he disappeared almost instantly.

Tali and Shepard looked at each other with a million questions in mind, but they did not spoke nor did they asked anything to each other, they simply smiled and held each others hand as they went back to the Normandy.

_**Later..**_

Shepard was resting inside his cabin, Datapad in one hand and coffee in the other, when he heard someone outside his door.

"Shepard, may i come in?" Tali asked outside Shepard's cabin.

"Sure." Shepard said.

The door opened.

"Hey Shepard." Tali said.

"Hey Tali." Shepard replied.

"i just came here to say thanks...you know...for earlier today...you came through for me Shepard, and i...i appreciate it."

"of course Tali." Shepard said.

"and...I'm sorry for the way I've acted lately, i acted selfish and it..it was wrong."

"well, you had your reasons."

"and as you said, whatever the galaxy throws at us, I'll be by your side."

The two of them were silent for a few seconds, Shepard then approached Tali.

"so...is that all you came here for?" Shepard flirted.

"well...there is something else i came here for." Tali flirted back.

"may i know what that is?"

"words aren't gonna cut it." Tali said as she took of her mask and closed the door behind her.

Let's give them some private time tonight folks...


End file.
